Back to School

Today was my first day back at work since Little M was born.  No, I haven't gone back to work full, or even part-time.  I was just a substitute teach for the day.  Before the baby, I worked as a middle school teacher in a local elementary school.  I still keep in touch with many of the teachers, and happily agreed to sub in the fourth grade class today and again on Monday.

I was excited to get out of the house and reconnect with all my old colleagues.  I also used to love teaching and was excited for the chance to dust off my rusty skills.  I was very nervous though.  It was the longest I was going to be away from Little M ever.  With her constantly changing skills, I was worried I would miss out on so much.  I was also concerned because I had committed myself to working both days.  I was locked in to Monday, even if today didn't go so well.  

I was grateful to my husband who would be home with the baby before work at 1, and my mom who would take over from there until I got home around 3.  This was a huge help, but would be difficult in that I would have to jump right in to full-time mom duties right after working a full day.  I know there are thousands of moms out there who do both every single day, and I really shouldn't be complaining, but it was still tough.

As I had mentioned in my Mother's Day post, there are both good and not so good parts to every day.  (Notice how I didn't say bad??  Life is so precious, and each day is a gift, so I'm trying not to view any part of my day as bad.  Days might not go the way I plan them, but I still try not to call it bad.)  Anyways, the not so good parts of my day were:

- having to be up, dressed, and out the door by 7 am

- it was absolutely GORGEOUS outside and I just wanted to be with my husband and little girl, taking a nice long walk

- my husband was off this morning, but I didn't get to spend time with him:(  He also took overtime tonight so he won't come home until 7 am tomorrow.  He then needs to go right to bed, only waking up to get ready and go right back to work at 2 pm.  So I won't really get to have a real conversation with him until tomorrow night at 11:30.  If I can stay up that late.  Awesome.

- it was really exhausting to work all day, and then be a full time wife and mommy for the rest of the day while the husband was at work (which was exhausting for him too, but full time dad in the morning and then working a 16 hour shift!!!)

- I MISSED MY DAUGHTER LIKE CRAZY!!!

On the plus side it was nice to:

- get out of the house for a bit

- talk to someone other than a 5 month old baby and two puppies

- sit and eat a leisurely 45 minute lunch without someone crying or barking at me

- actually get all dressed up and not be covered in strained food, poop, or spit up 10 minutes later

- make a little extra cash

- feel personal accomplishment for the day

- be someone other than "Meredith's Mommy"

All in all it was a pretty good day.  It was great to see some old friends and students.  It was nice to have a little change in my daily schedule.  But my heart was at home with my little girl.  I will obviously be coming back on Monday, and I would like to sub again in the future, but today reaffirmed just how lucky and happy I am to stay home:)