Mommy Musings

Thank you so much for all the anniversary wishes yesterday!  I still can't believe it's been nine years .  It sure goes by in a flash. Skip and I kept the day pretty simple.  We exchanged cards in the morning and had a little in-home date night.  We ordered some Italian food to eat while the girls were in bed, and watched a movie.  It was a perfect, relaxing evening to celebrate our marriage! Today marks two years since we lost our sweet Braddock.  In light of all the death we have experienced in the past few years, it seems silly to still be upset over the loss of a dog, but I can't help it; I am.  He was my little boy and I still miss him every day. We had another really busy weekend this week.  We took Emmy into the city for the first time on Friday {separate post coming on that}. Saturday was spent at a pool party a guy Skip works with threw.  Girls were obsessed  with the pool, and were swimming for the entire few hours we were ther...

It is with a sad heart that I write this post.  This past Thursday heaven gained another puppy angel.  My little sister's beagle, Audrey went to go be with my boy Braddock.   My sis got Audrey when she was 18 and the two have been inseparable ever since.  Truly best friends and partners in crime.  Audrey was much more person-like than dog, and she brought so much joy to my sis, her husband, and our whole family.  Audrey, you will truly be missed by all and we are all so lucky to have met you.

One year ago today, at 7:42 in the morning, my life was forever changed.  It was the moment our vet called to tell us our poor sweet bulldog, Braddock, had passed away. It's really strange to think that losing a dog could affect your life that much .  But for me it was true.  Nothing has been exactly the same since he was gone.  A piece of me, a piece of my heart, is different. Maybe it's because he was so much more than just a dog to me.  He was my baby, my boy.  We got him when he was only a few weeks old, when I was pregnant with Emmy.  He would wake up every two hours or so to go to the bathroom, and then I'd lay on the couch until he fell asleep on my shoulder and I could put him back in his cage.  He taught me how to be a mother. He was a really great protector {even though he was ridiculously afraid of thunder}.  I never felt unsafe when Skip would work overtime at night, because I knew Mr. B would alert us to any danger. And no one ...

Today would have been Braddock's fifth birthday.  I still miss my poor sweet boy all the time.  Here he is on his birthday last year.  If I had known it was his last I would have spoiled him a little more...bought him a few more toys....made him a special dinner.  I never thought he wouldn't live to see his fifth birthday. I know he's just a dog, but I still miss him every day. Hope you're having a birthday party in heaven Mr. B.

Today marks six months since our sweet boy left us.  Six months since I started to question the value of prayer. Six months since my whole world was rocked. Six months since I felt like a complete failure as a dog mom. Six months since I felt like our complete happily ever after is gone forever. Six months since I learned the death of an animal can hurt as much as the death of a person. Six months of wondering if I can ever handle getting another dog again. Six months of always feeling like there's something missing in our lives. Six months of it still hurting worse than I thought it would.  Six months of missing my boy every single day.   Not a great picture, but it's the last one I ever took of him before he left for the doctor:( Mr. B, we were so lucky to be able to love you for four years.  You were the best boy ever.

The other morning, Emmy was at school and Charlie and I were in the playroom working on puzzles.  It was a beautifully sunny day and light was streaming in through the many windows we have in the room.  I laid down on the floor to get a little warmth from the sun.  I relaxed for a bit, enjoying the moment, when tears started pricking at my eyes.  It took me a second to realize why I was sad, and then it hit me.... Braddock. This was his favorite thing in the whole world, to lay on the carpeted floor in the sunshine.  He would do it for hours, and I would join him as much as possible.  It was so relaxing to lay my head on his stomach and doze in and out. It hurt me more than I thought it would...more than it should probably.  I know I should be over the death of my dog already, but I'm just not .  It's only been three months. What's makes it harder, much harder, is that Emmy is just starting to understand that he's really never coming home....