The Great Nap Mystery
I am completely and totally at my wits end with this whole napping thing. And it's all my fault. Napping was never really something I got down as a mom {Little M napping that is, I am a napping CHAMPION} Around 8 weeks Little M finally got into a bedtime routine and started sleeping through the night. From months two to four she slept from 7 pm until 7 am. The only drawback was she didn't really nap at all during the day. But it really didn't bother me because she was such a good sleeper at night.
Starting around month four or five, she started to wake up sometimes at night for a bottle, she was gassy, or just wanted a snuggle. She then also started taking some naps during the day. They were never at the same time or for the same length. And they were never in her crib. She would scream whenever we tried to have her nap in there, so she would nap in the car, stroller, our bed, or the couch downstairs. At the time I just felt it was most important for her to be sleeping.
Around seven months Little M finally started to get into a regular routine with naps. She napped at 8:30 am until about 10 am, and then between 1:30 and 2:30 pm she would fall asleep again. The morning nap was always with me in my bed since I am sooo not a morning person and really needed to go back to bed as well. The afternoon nap was either while running errands or again in bed with me. She always went down to sleep in her crib perfectly at night, so I thought napping in her crib would just come with time.
From about 4 months until only about two weeks ago, Little M would continue to wake up once or twice a night. However, that has since stopped and she is sleeping from 7 pm until between 5:30 and 6:30 am. We just go upstairs at 7 and lay her down in her crib and she is out. No rocking or singing needed. Some nights she even reaches for her crib while I am trying to read her a story or say her prayers!
Since she is finally sleeping totally through the night and on a pretty regular napping schedule I decided it was time for Little M to start napping in her crib. On Monday afternoon I popped her upstairs, changed her diaper, put on her fan and pulled down the shade, placed her in her crib, and walked out. She cried for maybe 2-3 minutes and then silence......she was sleeping! The next hour were glorious. I swept our patio outside, did some dishes, cleaned the kitchen, and even had time to read a magazine while eating a snack. I was like a whole new woman! I had visions of actually getting chores done during the day now and being able to go to bed before midnight for once! I told Skip all about it when he came home and we agreed from now on it would be crib napping or nothing.
Yeah well Little M has decided that's not happening. We've only been putting her in the crib in the afternoon, but not the morning. One we thought it would be better to try this slowly, and two she is starting to drop her morning nap anyway. But maybe that has contributed to our problem. Here is what we have been doing this week.
Tuesday - let Little M cry for five minutes...go upstairs and calm her down....let her cry for 5 more minutes...go up and calm her down...this repeats for an hour before I finally take her out of the crib and don't let her take a nap that afternoon. {Make for a VERY cranky baby around 6 pm, but we still managed to keep her awake till 7}
Wednesday - same rotation except we let her cry for 10 minutes at a time. Ended with me taking her out after an hour and not letting her nap that afternoon.
Thursday - same rotation except we let her cry for 15 minutes at a time. Ended with me taking her out after an hour and not letting her nap that afternoon.
Friday - Skip was around today for naptime and said he would take care of it. He let her cry for 10 minutes, went to console her, then said he was just going to let her cry it out. I lasted exactly 22 minutes of listening to her scream before I went up and got her. Even though that's what our doctor said we just can't let her cry for an hour. So now Skip is out running errands with her. I'm sure she will fall asleep in the car, but I really don't care anymore.
We've done it all....progressive crying it out....putting her down awake....putting her down sleepy....putting her down asleep....same routine as her bedtime routine...she is always full, dry, not gassy, and given medicine if her teeth are hurting. She just will.not.sleep.in.her.crib!!!!! And I really want her too. I can't get ANYTHING done around the house if she's sleeping on my bed or on the couch because she will just fall off if she wakes up and I'm not around. I can't do this anymore. Do I keep trying the progressive cry it out method {I will NOT just let her cry for an hour though} Do I just accept the fact that she won't nap in her crib and I will never have that precious time to get stuff done? Is it all my fault because I should have been doing this earlier on in her life and now it's too late??!?! Please, I need advice!!!
Ugh! This stuff is so hard. And every kid is different. Don't be hard on yourself, because it's not like that -- if it wasn't this it would be something else. Especially for the first bunch of months I've always been a big believer of you do whatever it takes to get them to sleep. And then you change it when it's when not working for you anymore. Which is where you are. You and Meredith will figure it out together. Hang in there. What you need is just as important as what she needs.
ReplyDeleteJust to let you know about the ups and downs -- my 22 month old hasn't napped in 10 days! And I'm losing my mind about that, too. Though I think it's just a phase. But there have been plenty of times when he was a super napper, too. Just when you think you've got it down, it changes. :)
But you're a good mom. Hang in there.
Oh girl, I'm so sorry!!!! This week has been a horrible napping week for us too! I totally agree that you have to do what works for you, and that what works is ALWAYS changing.
ReplyDeleteUsually, I nurse him to sleep for naps and bedtime, but with his top teeth coming in now, nursing is PAINFUL. We're trying new things. I have to get him to fall asleep on his own now (my mistake for loving that he always drifted asleep on me and stayed asleep for his nap).
Today I tried a semi-cry-it-out method. I usually am against CIO, but it may be what my son needs. He cried when I put him down, so I took a shower (I couldn't hear the crying). I checked on him, hugged and said I loved him, then I finished getting dressed and blow dried my hair (I couldn't hear the crying). Then I calmed him down again and left again. I put laundry in the wash (couldn't hear him crying). I did go up after that to sit by his crib for a while, and we even had some smiles and chuckles. Then I left and made the beds. (could hear him crying, but it wasn't as bad). Finally he fell asleep. This whole thing took an hour. I will do the same thing tomorrow.
I don't know if that helps you or not, but at least you know you're not alone! (each time I went in, I was sure I was going to find him sitting in his vomit, because he was crying so hard he was choking himself up!) Sorry if that was TMI.
p.s. his afternoon nap was in the van today...because I can only stand one fight a day.
That sounds really rough. I hope it gets straightened out and you'll be able to get a sleep pattern down again!
ReplyDeleteNapping is tough! I got borrowed "The No Cry Sleep Solution" from the library and it really helped. A ton. A TON. It does recommend playing in the crib some every day so that she thinks it's a fun place to be... maybe that will help.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I am certain of is that whatever is right for you is the right way to do it.