Dear So and So
I love reading these on other blogs, so I thought it was time to do one of my own!
Dear showerhead,
I'm not sure why you decided to start shooting out really amazing water pressure the other day, but please don't stop. It feels like a million little fingers are massaging my scalp every time I was my hair. I have never felt so clean in my life!
Dear September,
Ummm, where did you go? How is it October already? I really hate the fall.
Dear Little M,
I am apologizing for the fact that your Daddy and I have already taught you to fist pump. You're from Jersey...you're just going to have to embrace that.
Dear Giants,
Could SOMEONE on the team step up as a leader and make everyone start caring about winning again? It's only the start of week 4 and I've already given up on the entire season. You have one more chance against the Bears on Sunday before I change my loyalties to the other Manning brother {well really his team, as much as I love the Giants I hate Eli...no one can live up to Peyton 'Laser Rocket' Manning}
Dear stand-up comedians,
You're really not funny. Any of you. Please stop entertaining my husband for hours on end. It's really interrupting my need to endlessly watch General Hospital on DVR.
Dear Bj's,
Thank you for carrying the 40 oz bags of pretzel M&Ms. My waistline does not thank you but my mouth sure does!
Dear pretzel M&Ms,
PLEASE stop tasting so good. Seriously. Waistline expansion is 100% your fault.
Dear Tiki Barber,
This Sunday will be the first time you return to Giant's Stadium since you retired. A year ago I would have been excited. But then you cheated on your EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT WITH TWINS WIFE. I used to love you. Now I can't stand you. Way to shatter the dreams of a girl who stood online for 4 hours to meet you just four days before I gave birth. Jerk.
Dear showerhead,
I'm not sure why you decided to start shooting out really amazing water pressure the other day, but please don't stop. It feels like a million little fingers are massaging my scalp every time I was my hair. I have never felt so clean in my life!
Dear September,
Ummm, where did you go? How is it October already? I really hate the fall.
Dear Little M,
I am apologizing for the fact that your Daddy and I have already taught you to fist pump. You're from Jersey...you're just going to have to embrace that.
Dear Giants,
Could SOMEONE on the team step up as a leader and make everyone start caring about winning again? It's only the start of week 4 and I've already given up on the entire season. You have one more chance against the Bears on Sunday before I change my loyalties to the other Manning brother {well really his team, as much as I love the Giants I hate Eli...no one can live up to Peyton 'Laser Rocket' Manning}
Dear stand-up comedians,
You're really not funny. Any of you. Please stop entertaining my husband for hours on end. It's really interrupting my need to endlessly watch General Hospital on DVR.
Dear Bj's,
Thank you for carrying the 40 oz bags of pretzel M&Ms. My waistline does not thank you but my mouth sure does!
Dear pretzel M&Ms,
PLEASE stop tasting so good. Seriously. Waistline expansion is 100% your fault.
Dear Tiki Barber,
This Sunday will be the first time you return to Giant's Stadium since you retired. A year ago I would have been excited. But then you cheated on your EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT WITH TWINS WIFE. I used to love you. Now I can't stand you. Way to shatter the dreams of a girl who stood online for 4 hours to meet you just four days before I gave birth. Jerk.
Haha I love this post and you have inspired me to do one of my own!
ReplyDeleteBtw... You have an award on my blog :) Hope you're having a wonderful weekend!
I love these kinds of posts too! I don't mind the stand up comedians but if someone could get ride of the sci fi channel that would be great, I have Grey's Anatomy reruns to watch! lol
ReplyDeleteAnd I love that Little M already knows how to fist pump!