The 9-11 Memorial

While I was very lucky that none of my family and friends {other than twelve of my dad's business partners} were killed on September 11, 2001, that day forever changed who I am.  Living that close to NYC, I could see the smoke, the gaping hole where the towers once stood.  I cannot describe how scary it was to have a terrorist attack of that magnitude happen in practically my backyard.  The fear I had of it happening again stayed with me for a really long time.  And on 9/11, life as I knew it changed forever.  My cousin and all the boys I'd come to know and love from his senior class at West Point were now preparing for war.  For years and years I then knew someone deployed at all times.  And as we all military wives and families know, once they come home from war, the war still hasn't left them.  All the men I know still suffer from something they experienced over there.  All because of what happened on 9/11.

So when my dad and sisters had to go into downtown NYC just a few weeks after the attacks, I knew I couldn't handle it.  And I'm glad I didn't.  They can still vividly recall the horrendous, horrifying smell, even so many years later.  I made the decision then that I wouldn't go down to Ground Zero until I was ready.  I knew I wasn't ready in February 2004 when we were out in NYC with my cousin, home on  the leave from Iraq and without me knowing it at first, we drove past Ground Zero.  It was just a construction site at the time.  I ended up having a panic attack in the car, my sister and cousin having to help me breathe to work through it.

I decided then I wouldn't go down there until the memorial was built.  However, I didn't think it would take this long for them to erect something, but that is for another post.  While most of it is still not complete, on September 11, 2011 the reflecting pools opened up to the public.  My parents went down in November and loved the peace it brought them.  Skip and I talked about going this summer, but with everything going on, I completely forgot about it.  But a few weeks ago, Skip surprised me with tickets and my mom as a babysitter all lined up.  So this past Friday we headed into the city.

We took the train in, which we've actually never done before...normally we drive or take the bus.  But this was so much fun!  Just a relaxing train ride and a quick switch to the Path and we were there.

We had a bit of a ways to walk to get to the entrance of the memorial, since so much of the area is still under construction.  We had to go through some crazy security {think airport style} and then we walked in.  There were a decent amount of people, but it didn't feel too crowded.  I was amazed that as you get closer to the reflecting pools, the rest of the city seems to just disappear.  The running water drowns out the rest of the noise {nearly an impossible task if you know just how loud NYC is}.  It brings such a feeling of peace over you.  I do have to say that the way the water flows down into the square drain in the bottom freaked me out a little.  It was like a constant sucking down of water, that kept reminding me of the way the towers fell.  And the smell of chlorine {which I'm sure is very important} was slightly off putting.  It also didn't feel like it was quite enough, of a tribute for what happened there.  But I'm sure it will feel much grander once the Freedom Tower, museum, and other buildings are finished.  But what upset me the most was the tourists standing for group pictures in front of the pools.  This place is nothing more than a grave site, a place to honor so many that perished that day.  Take pictures of the site, sure, to remember once you are home.  But smiling and laughing with the empty air where the towers once stood really upset me.  Save that for the Empire State Building.

I don't want you to think I didn't like it though...I really did.  And I surprised myself when I didn't start sobbing, as I expected to.  But for the first time I finally felt at peace with everything, the sense of calm was overwhelming.  And that was beautiful.

View of the Freedom Tower from right out of the Path train

Lots of construction still at the site

We looked for names {using the 9-11 Memorial app to guide us...absolutely download that if you know  anyone killed that day, it has a brief biopsy and you can see their name etched into the stone} and stood in front of the Survivors Tree.  We just sat on one of the many benches and took it all in.

The father of one of my former students

Fight 93

This one made my heart hurt

Jersey City Fire Dept.

Port Authority Police

First Responders

FDNY

The Survivor's Tree

They encourage you to only spend half an hour at the site, and so we soon headed on our way.  We had a few hours to kill before our train back home.  First we grabbed some pizza {a MUST every time you're in the city}

Once we were good and stuffed, we headed down towards the docks and park on the Hudson River.  We took pictures, gazed out at the Statue of Liberty and Jersey City.  We explored the park and then just relaxed on the grass under an absolutely cloudless sky.  It was the perfect afternoon with my man, and definitely one that was much needed.  With all the bad things going on this summer, it's been hard for Skip and I to just escape from all that together.  But this was just perfect.

Statue of Liberty

A Jersey girl with Jersey behind her!

My state!!

Candids in the park

My blue-eyed boy

Empire State Building

It was such a gorgeous park!

Soon it was time to catch the train back to Jersey.  But I will always carry this day with me in my heart, for so many reasons.  And the next time you find yourself in NYC, make sure to get tickets and go down to the memorial to pay your respects.  It really is a beautiful place.