Children and Death

When my MIL passed away, one of the things I was most upset about was having to tell Emmy it happened. She had taken the news of Braddock very badly this past summer, and I thought the news of her grandmother being gone would just wreck her.  Skip and I were out in PA with the family when it happened, so at least we were able to compose ourselves to tell her the next morning.

Now, when Braddock died, we spent a lot of time explaining to Emmy that he was in heaven with God, and while that meant he was happy and healthy now, it also meant we wouldn't be able to see him ever again.  It took her a long time to understand and accept all that, but now she's in a good place about him.  She still includes him whenever she lists everyone in our family and seems content with the knowledge that while it's sad we can't see him, he's happy with God.

For months I struggled with why Braddock died.  I really believe that there is a reason for everything, but I just couldn't wrap my mind around this one.  But now I know.  Braddock's death served as a practice of sorts....a way to introduce the concept of death to Emmy..to ease the blow of it....before her grandmother was taken from her.

As they always do, Emmy surprised me when we told her about her Mimi.  We were very matter of fact and said that Mimi had cancer, and while the doctors tried their hardest, they just weren't able to make her better.  We said she was in heaven with God and Braddock now.

Emmy kind of looked up at us as she processed the information and just kind of went "okay" and went on with her day.  We thought maybe she didn't understand us, but any time we've asked her what happened to Mimi, she replies, "She died so she's in heaven with God".  Very matter of fact.  

We have had a few rough moments though, like when she got sick and asked us when she was going to die since she was sick like Mimi {this is why we keep making sure to use the word cancer with her, and not just say sick}.  The most heart breaking moment was when she realized that "Daddy doesn't have a mommy anymore."  I can't even think about that moment without crying.

But God bless her sweet little soul and innocence.  She is learning all about God's love at home and at school, and with that knowledge she isn't too sad about her Mimi being gone.  She knows Mimi is in heaven....and she knows that's a better place.

I'm sure the grief will hit her in the future, probably the first time we bring her out to PA and my MIL isn't there, but for now we are so blessed that she has been taking this so well.  {We made the decision not to have the girls at the wake, funeral, or burial.  We did not want to scar them with it, and Skip and I also wanted time to grieve without having to also watch our children.  That probably contributes to the fact that she is taking it so well.}  


Has your child ever experienced a death in the family?  How did you handle it with them?  How did they take it?