Grandma the Great

I wanted to write a post on here about my Grandma...about the amazing woman she was.  But every time I typed out one sentence or another, it wasn't quite right.  But my older sister on the other hand, was perfectly able to capture the spirit of my Grandma in her eulogy on Saturday.  So instead of trying to come up with something myself, here are my sister's beautiful words {obviously I changed all the names to initials}

Good morning. My name is L, and I’m A’s eldest granddaughter. On behalf of her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, I’d like to thank all of you so much for being here to celebrate her today.

I’ve been struggling with trying to find the right words to share with you this morning to sum up what my grandma meant to all of us. How do you fit 90 years’ worth of love, lessons, and laughs into a few short remarks? But I’ll do my best – by Tuesday night, I already knew that I wanted to be able to honor her today by telling you about who she was.

A was born on June 18, 1923. Her start in life was a difficult one, one that might have caused a lesser woman to give up. But my Grandma’s quiet courage and determination to find happiness got her through, and continued to serve her well throughout her life.   She showed all of us by example that we could get through anything.

My Grandma was many things – she was a woman of honor and dignity, the wife of Vincent, whom she loved dearly and missed deeply. Grandma, we’re so happy for you that you can be together with him again.

She was also a tireless volunteer – both within her family and her community. She was the school secretary at this church for many years, a Brownie and Girl Scout Leader, a volunteer for cancer research and actively involved with NOLA. I often joked with her that she had a better social life than I did!

She had many dear friends that she talked to on the phone, took trips to Long Beach Island with, and even spent New Years Eve dancing with. She learned to swim and how to play golf after she turned 50, and spent a lot of time crocheting and knitting. I recently gave her something that I’d crocheted, and she asked, “Who taught you how to crochet?” “You did!” I told her.

It’s just one of so many things I learned from my Grandma. Through her I learned that you should always be doing for others, to always keep active, even if you’re only exercising your mind, and that strength of character and doing the right thing is imperative. But the most important thing of all is family.

To my Grandma, nothing was more important to her than her family. To a lucky few, K, P, and K, she was “Mom.” To a wide circle of friends, she was “A.” To Emmy and Charlie, she was “The Great.” But to so, so many, she was “Grandma.”

Her biological grandchildren, B, M, L, C, A, E, S, and K, all loved her deeply, and miss her so much already. Grandma, we know that you must be thrilled to be reunited with B in Heaven.

We - her children, her grandchildren, and her great grandchildren - are her legacy – she was so proud of each and every one of us, and never hesitated to make sure we knew it. She got so much pleasure from being a part of our lives. Many memories have come flooding back to me in the past few days of the times we spent with Grandma – chaotic Thanksgiving dinners when the entire family would gather to be together at her house, my sisters and I spending Friday nights eating junk food and watching TGIF with her after Irish folk dancing lessons, planting impatiens together along the front of her house, her expertise at bobbing for apples, the hug she gave me at my college graduation, when she told me how very proud she was, and so much more.

Her most famous line was “I’ll babysit!” any time there was the opportunity for her children to be doing something.

But she wasn’t just Grandma to us – when M headed off to West Point, she opened what we called “A’s Inn” and invited all of M’s friends to come and stay. She loved and respected the military so much, and not only opened her home, but fed them, helped them with their laundry, and counseled them. She joked that she’d often come out of her bedroom in the morning to find sleeping bodies all over the living room, some of whom she didn’t even know! It’s a real testament to my Grandma that so many of them called her on her 90^th birthday so many years after their time at West Point.

She was continuing this legacy with more family friends too – when I last spoke with her, she was telling me about K’s friend, N, who’d slept on the couch the night before. She really loved welcoming people into her home.

There are things about my Grandma that we’ll never forget – her powder blue Cadillac and her refusal to make left turns in her later years of driving; her love of housecoats, always offering to show us how to dance the lindy and how she’d throw her hands up in the air any time “Celebration” started to play; years of hearing “If God spares me…” and her prayers for safety anytime we traveled a long distance in the car; having her little radio pressed against her ear so she could listen to conservative talk radio and 1010 wins constantly; her regular lobbying for “pajama days;” always considering herself a New Yorker, even though she’d lived in New Jersey for 63 years; how she’d send me quarters when I was in college to “buy myself a soda,” and always offering us a soda no matter what time it was when we visited her. She always had a sharp mind too – even just a couple of months ago, she asked if I would explain Twitter to her. I’m not sure she understood my explanation, but she just liked being able to ask her grandchildren and children about the latest trends.

In writing this, my Aunt offered her own thoughts on her mom, which I’d like to share with you – “My mother is my hero. When I feel weak, I will remember all of the ways in which I know she was strong and brave. She was always, always there for me. Nothing can take away our memories, the love shared and all the things she taught me. I have her with me forever. She lives on in me, she lives on in my children and all of her grandchildren whom she loves so much, cherished so dearly and truly cared for. Our roles switched in recent years. I became more of the parent and she became more of the child. With a sense of humor, we both moved forward in our new defined relationship, down a road of mutual support. I love you, Mom, with all my heart. Thank you for all that you gave to me.”

I’m pretty sure that I thought my Grandma would live forever, simply through sheer force of will. But as my aunt said, actually, she will, through all of us.  We were blessed to have had her for so long, and to have so many beautiful and wonderful memories of her.

In closing, I’d like to share a quote with you, and again, thank you all for being here to celebrate my wonderful grandma.

“A limb has fallen from the family tree.
I keep hearing a voice that says, ‘Grieve not for me.
Remember the best times, the laughter, the song.
The good life I lived while I was strong.
Continue my heritage, I’m counting on you.
Keep smiling and surely the sun will shine through.
My mind is at ease, my soul is at rest.
Remembering all, how I truly was blessed.
Continue traditions, no matter how small.
Go on with your life, don’t worry about falls.
I miss you all dearly, so keep up your chin.
Until the day comes we’re together again.’”