Uniqueness and Intuition
In the first few months of Emmy's life, I was borderline obsessed with reading as much about babies I could. I would spend hours combing the library for the latest book on development, feeding, sleeping, etc.
I was shocked when I heard other, more experience, mothers tell me that they didn't read any of the books. But how would they know when they're child was supposed to roll over? How did they know how much to feed them and when? How would they get their baby to fall asleep without all the knowledge out there?
As Emmy grew, I found myself reading fewer and fewer parenting books. Though to be honest, it was more that I was just exhausted after chasing a toddler around all day, than I felt like I didn't need them.
Then I got pregnant with Charlie. There was very little reading of any kind going on during those nine months, mainly because reading made me never-ending nausea even worse. But I also didn't feel the need to find out what each week of pregnancy would bring, as I had already gone through it once before.
I had the same sort of thought once Charlie was born. I had already read tons about newborns and babies, and been through it all with Emmy before. I felt way more comfortable as a seasoned, veteran mom.
But what I didn't take into account was that Charlie was going to be a much different baby than Emmy. What worked for my first, rarely worked for my second. I was quickly brought back to the reality that I really didn't know what I'm doing.
When I was about 9 months in to Charlie still not sleeping through the night I turned back to doing some reading. I was sleep deprived and desperate for some help. All of the tactics that had worked with Emmy weren't working and I really needed some sleep. I implemented as many things as I could find, and yet nothing worked. Around 18 months, Charlie finally started sleeping through the night consistently. It was really more because she was ready, than anything I had done.
That, along with all the other ways that Charlie and Emmy were different as babies is why I decided to put away the parenting books for good and just learn to follow my gut.
I can't tell you how freeing it has been to just parent the way I think is right, rather than what some book is telling me what to do. Yes, Skip and I still spend hours each week talking about what is best for each of our girls, and how best to parent them. I bounce ideas and questions off my mom and other moms that I know. Obviously I'm knee-deep in the world of mommy bloggers and all the advice we like to share.
But at the end of the day I know two things for sure. One, every single child is different. After I had gotten Emmy to the toddler years, I really felt like I knew how to parent a newborn. Then I had Charlie and realized that most of what I knew wouldn't work for her. So you can read every single parenting book out there, and your kid will still throw you something that no one has ever heard of before.
The second thing I know for sure, is that mommy gut is the best tool you'll need when raising your child. When Charlie had been coughing for only 20 minutes, I knew it was something more than just a cold. My gut was confirmed after a quick ER visit and a croup diagnosis. I'm the one who knows my girls best. I know when Emmy is fake crying, and when it's real. I know when Charlie is just being fussy at dinner time, and when she's really not hungry. I know when they're silence is a good thing and when it definitely is not.
Now I'm not saying that as a parent you shouldn't read parenting books. I'm just saying that it's okay if you want to, but also okay if you don't. As long as you remember that every child is unique, and that your mommy intuition is real, than you'll be as well off as any of us moms out there:)

Get 10% off led grow lights for sale when you shop at www.AccessHydro.com. Valid until March 2014.
I was shocked when I heard other, more experience, mothers tell me that they didn't read any of the books. But how would they know when they're child was supposed to roll over? How did they know how much to feed them and when? How would they get their baby to fall asleep without all the knowledge out there?
As Emmy grew, I found myself reading fewer and fewer parenting books. Though to be honest, it was more that I was just exhausted after chasing a toddler around all day, than I felt like I didn't need them.
Then I got pregnant with Charlie. There was very little reading of any kind going on during those nine months, mainly because reading made me never-ending nausea even worse. But I also didn't feel the need to find out what each week of pregnancy would bring, as I had already gone through it once before.
I had the same sort of thought once Charlie was born. I had already read tons about newborns and babies, and been through it all with Emmy before. I felt way more comfortable as a seasoned, veteran mom.
But what I didn't take into account was that Charlie was going to be a much different baby than Emmy. What worked for my first, rarely worked for my second. I was quickly brought back to the reality that I really didn't know what I'm doing.
When I was about 9 months in to Charlie still not sleeping through the night I turned back to doing some reading. I was sleep deprived and desperate for some help. All of the tactics that had worked with Emmy weren't working and I really needed some sleep. I implemented as many things as I could find, and yet nothing worked. Around 18 months, Charlie finally started sleeping through the night consistently. It was really more because she was ready, than anything I had done.
That, along with all the other ways that Charlie and Emmy were different as babies is why I decided to put away the parenting books for good and just learn to follow my gut.
I can't tell you how freeing it has been to just parent the way I think is right, rather than what some book is telling me what to do. Yes, Skip and I still spend hours each week talking about what is best for each of our girls, and how best to parent them. I bounce ideas and questions off my mom and other moms that I know. Obviously I'm knee-deep in the world of mommy bloggers and all the advice we like to share.
But at the end of the day I know two things for sure. One, every single child is different. After I had gotten Emmy to the toddler years, I really felt like I knew how to parent a newborn. Then I had Charlie and realized that most of what I knew wouldn't work for her. So you can read every single parenting book out there, and your kid will still throw you something that no one has ever heard of before.
The second thing I know for sure, is that mommy gut is the best tool you'll need when raising your child. When Charlie had been coughing for only 20 minutes, I knew it was something more than just a cold. My gut was confirmed after a quick ER visit and a croup diagnosis. I'm the one who knows my girls best. I know when Emmy is fake crying, and when it's real. I know when Charlie is just being fussy at dinner time, and when she's really not hungry. I know when they're silence is a good thing and when it definitely is not.
Now I'm not saying that as a parent you shouldn't read parenting books. I'm just saying that it's okay if you want to, but also okay if you don't. As long as you remember that every child is unique, and that your mommy intuition is real, than you'll be as well off as any of us moms out there:)
Get 10% off led grow lights for sale when you shop at www.AccessHydro.com. Valid until March 2014.
Comments
Post a Comment